Mirror, mirror on the Wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall... Who am I?

Wednesday 29 April 2015

Memoirs of a Bridezilla: The In-Laws' Wedding


I don’t believe in breaking the bank for a wedding, there is forever after that! Forever house rent/maintenance, forever fees and forever bills to pay so if you can save on your wedding that would be very wise indeed.
Of course we have what we want in our heads and our parents have what THEY want, double that and you have 4 parents wanting what they want. I didn’t think this would be a problem for a bit because at the end of the day we are the ones getting married, so I was certain a few boundaries could be made…. Apparently not in an Ibo wedding!
she was almost like her

 I attempted to plan my wedding myself but my mother-in-law had her own plans. She brought in a wedding planner which I wasn’t too happy about but reached a compromise by taking off a few duties from her and by letting her know she was only hired to help and not run the show. My fiancé didn’t care much about colour code so I picked it. I picked Green and Gold but once again, mother-in-law had her own colours. She said we should do Blue as this was her son’s favourite colour (but your son said he’s cool with Green and Gold? He’s not complaining!) I really did not want colour riot so I reached another compromise of Teal and Gold; at least there’s a bit of blue in there. I started suspecting this Mother-in-law of mine with the way she kept on objecting my wishes and I had to make sure my hubby told her we had discussed everything and agreed as a couple that this was what we wanted, I mean she can choose her aso ebi? She can handle food? That’s what the mothers do right? Hmm! This is my wedding o! I won’t even agree!
The Hall we chose was already decorated so it cut costs for us. The wedding planner didn’t want to agree that it was fine enough and even offered to decorate it. I explained to her I was content with the décor but she was adamant and of course with backing from the in-laws I had to listen. Ok I decided to hear what she had to say, after all the (boring) ideas she put forward she now added insult upon injury by charging 1 million Naira for it! Say wetin happen! That décor in that hall cost 400k! Needless to say the conversation ended there.
I was beginning to get fed up of the barging in and changing of things by my fiancé’s siblings and it was weighing me down, I thought many times of just talking to his mum like a daughter to a mother but I didn’t know how to go about it without probably offending her. Is there a polite way of saying “back off”? Because that’s how I felt anytime she spoke about one thing or the other that I didn’t like. My family members on the other hand were very helpful and supportive. My ever efficient sister was my chief bridesmaid and she handled the job very well. My wedding dress was on point, the bridesmaids dresses were stunning and cloth matter was sorted, my sister handled everything beauty, even make up (she did my make up for the wedding) so at least I was happy about that.
Some of my friends dint try sha, they wanted to use me to pay their shop rent. I asked one to do cocktails for me and she charged 285 Naira per head whereas a total stranger gave me for 170 Naira per head. Even as I told her to reduce for me she was doing shakara, Na so friendship be? For my other friend I just told her I wanted beads, I didn’t dare mention wedding so that she won’t charge me and when she found out it was too late (hehe).
For a while plans went smoothly, no interruptions, no new ideas. The wedding planner faced her own and I faced my own. It was looking like we were all getting along till we had a mini family meeting; my parents and I wanted to contribute to paying for some of the expenses of the wedding and my sister-in-law dared to ask “where will you get the money from?” I began to boil! I explained to her that it wasn’t a problem, we talked about number of guests and I calmly explained we did not want too many guests, mother-in-law just charged in “come, this wedding is not your own o! This is my first and only son and you will see many people there whether you like it or not! This is our wedding, we foot the bill, we do everything, you go and get yourself ready and present yourself to your husband, go and look fine, finish!” kai!  “HOW DARE YOU INSULT US! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! THIS IS MY WEDDING NOT YOURS AND DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BUSH VILLAGE PEOPLE STILL LIVING IN ANCIENT TIMES! I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT AND YOU WILL SIT BACK AND ACCEPT EVERYTHING! NOW, GET OUT!
In America I’m sure I could have said that but here, (lol) hmm! I still wanted to marry sha. I just took everything in and poured out my frustration to hubby. He completely understood and even spoke to his people on my behalf, with that they chilled small, sigh.
Wedding day came and I was up by 6am! Even though mass was at 9 I wasn’t taking any chances. I was dressed and ready by 8 with full make up on. The hairstylist came late but everything was still on track as my able chiefo yelled at her and kept her on her toes to finish making the bridal party’s hair on time. I dint wait for all that o, I already started finding my way to the rented Limo as my priority at that point was to have a majestic father-daughter walk down the aisle. As I went downstairs I was already imagining how I will come out of this limo in elegance and glamour, looking posh posing for photographs… my daydream shattered to pieces as I saw the bonnet of the limo open and the driver fanning smoke out of it! I just broke down and started crying. Like seriously! Today of all days! My sister tried to pacify me half upset I almost messed up my makeup. At the end we had to use the photographer’s car to get to church and I cried almost all the way! The photographer kept consoling me and my sister kept trying to revamp my face. I was too sad and the only thing that could change that was if I got to the church on time. Luckily I got there at the nick of time and could have my majestic walk, seeing my fresh fiancé also lit up my heart and limo problem automatically wiped from my memory.

I thought the drama ended in the morning only to get to the reception and see some funny shaped rubbish hanging from the ceiling of the already beautifully decorated hall! This had wedding planner written all over it! After I told her I dint want her décor she went behind my back to get it done! I just freed cos it was too late to do anything about it. Even the other services she promised to provide she didn’t, it was just all in the book, see ushers scanty, people complaining they hadn’t eaten ( I even chuckled at that one, shebi I said not too many guests) where was the famous dessert table? All her talk was wash! Our MC decided to act his own play during the wedding. During negotiation stage he charged us 40k o, we told him ok go and check the venue, he didn’t, that’s how he started vexing at the reception that he should have charged us more as he didn’t know the wedding was big like that especially after seeing the huge hall. He started throwing tantrums talking about charging 200k but of course it was too late so my hubby’s friend helped us handle him by paying his balance and sending him off.

Apart from all that, the day was beautiful! The church was beautifully decorated and I got all the glamorous pictures I wanted! The DJ was on point and made everyone turn up! After everything I was so happy that it was as If nothing bad happened, I even hugged and played with my mother-in-law and hubby’s sisters like we never had issues and forgave the limo guy for messing my morning up. I got a chance to take a ride and it was lovely! As we drove to our new home in this beautifully decorated romantic back seat, I thanked God for a successful day and for finally joining me to the man of my dreams!


My advice to Brides everywhere is never to let anything upset you on your big day, just laugh and smile through it all! Also always keep food for your bridal party because ushers tend to forget they exist.


And there you have it, a moderate turned happy Bridezilla!

Saturday 11 April 2015

Memoirs of a Bridezilla: Thrifty Hubby

I wouldn't say I was much of a bridezilla but I guess there were some brief moments I yelled or something. I had no worries with planning my wedding because my sister is a wedding planner and she helped me for free, my hubby was also of tremendous help and took charge of many things. It was a stress free division of labour. I didn't want to be left out in all the fun (plus I had my own ideas) so I sorted out the venue, decor, cake, my dress (of course), the bridal party outfits and Aso Ebi . My ever active hubby took care of our wedding ride, drinks, rings, photo and video coverage, we were like the 3 musketeers for wedding planning! I must commend my husband because he was so on point, he was very good at cutting costs and slashing down prices! who would have thought you could bring a wedding cake down from 400k to 150k!


I wanted an all white theme with a bit of Teal and champagne and a touch of Emerald Green and Peach but mum had her own plans and added Orange and Lemon. sadly I could not debate it and just prayed hers wont clash with mine.
I chose 10 friends as bridesmaids  and wanted all of them to wear a particular style of dress. I got a tailor to sew it and made sure everyone took their measurements. They all promised to be cooperative, they even went for fitting on time, the dresses looked good and from that moment I was certain nothing could go wrong there.
My other friends were also of great help, they assisted in following up with planning and helped to make sure everything was in place, I couldn't think of anything that could go wrong because all hands were on deck and it looked like it would be a perfect day...
Till a week to the wedding...
One of my bridesmaids decided to opt out for no concrete reason! it was so annoying because I wanted 10 bridesmaids and it was going to be difficult to get someone to take her place. I cursed the babe ehn, luckily for me another friend of mine was ready to help and even paid for the outfit on time.
On the wedding day I got a beautiful surprise from my hubby, he rented a limo for our wedding car, it was so grand! I was so happy about it that I jumped out of my dad's jeep and ran into it!
The Mass was good and after it all I was on cloud 9! my bridesmaids looked lovely but the "new girl" altered her dress and I wanted everything the same. I just freed cos she came through when I needed a friend.
I was also a bit irritated about the hall decor, I guess because my hubby butchered her price quote she decided not to cover the ceiling fully like we discussed, I just had to make myself ignore it.


I wanted the DJ to play most of the time but one Ibo band just kept drowning the guy! I almost went to ask "how far you guys na", they were just killing the groove! the DJ I was even lobbying for  did something very interesting; as the reception was still going on he carried his leg to walk up to the stage to ask me, the bride for his balance! on the high table o! trust my hubby to take control, me I just eyed him and he got the message.

Apart from all that, the wedding went very well. I'm very grateful to my ever supportive family and friends, that's all you need at the end of the day to plan a successful wedding.


So you can see I wasn't much of a bridezilla :)