Wish He Called...

I looked at my phone every second I took my eyes off…

Waiting…

Hoping…

Nothing…

I ached for a call, I longed for a flash. You can’t just meet someone, lead them on, make them fall in love with you then break their heart. That’s so cruel!

I pity girls this happens to and I wish it rarely did. We deserve much more than this but many times we give our hearts away hoping our fairy tales would come true but they always prove us wrong. The male species, so heartless!

Sigh… wish this was my story, funny enough I would have preferred to be at a friend’s house sobbing on her lap or eating chocolate ice-cream because of some guy that dumped me, but this was not my story.

It was no use. I heaved a sigh and went back to bed. I thought to myself I must have really screwed this up. I lay for a while in the dead of night thinking about how stupid I must have been or am for that matter. I felt like the dumbest person in the whole world and what hurt the most was I couldn’t get any of it back because it was lost forever. I didn’t even get consolation from anyone and that made it worse. My friends decided not to talk to me and neither would my parents so I was all alone and all I could do was replay the memories.  At a point I thought I was listening to a melodious voice whispering sweet nonsense into my ear only for my totem to prove me right that I was in a dream.

We met at a friend’s party and we immediately clicked. He said I was cute and I said likewise. I thought he was one of those play boys at first but after we hung out a couple of times I realized he was the real deal. Things escalated from there and every day I felt like I was in paradise. I told all my friends about him and I loved their teasing. He was perfect! We had chemistry and it felt good. He bought me flowers, diamonds and precious stones, he showed me off to the whole world and I loved it!

As I thought about this more tears slid down my cheeks and my sniffs became louder, I was a mess. I couldn’t imagine how I could have felt like a queen a couple of months ago and now like a hopeless woman, I sobbed louder. I decided to make a few phone calls to cheer me up, I even tried flirting with some of my guy friends who got so irritated that they said I needed help. I decided to try social media by commenting on every friend’s status update, wall and picture. Of course I got the message once no one replied and that was when I knew I was truly alone. I decided to watch some  horror flick but that didn’t get me out of my mood plus I assured myself it wasn’t the best choice at the time of night, judging  from the fact that I was home alone so I went back to bed to brood and weep.

I recalled a scene of one tree hill when Lucas went all the way to Los Angeles to see Peyton, then I remembered how I got tired and he got more interested. He asked me if I wanted children, I said yes. He asked me if I wanted to live by the beach, I gave a nervous reply. He asked me to marry him, I said no.

I wasn’t ready, I wanted him with no commitment, and I wanted to focus on other things. I wasn’t ready to neither raise a family nor have to come home to anyone. I wanted his time but not all the time, I loved his parents but wasn’t ready to be part of his family, I was so caught up in my bubble of self that I didn’t realize what I had done.

I acted like it was nothing the days that followed next but when I called and he didn’t call back, when I texted and he didn’t text back then when I heard he travelled without telling me, I knew something was wrong.

I thought he was bluffing and would come back to me but when he returned telling a new story I was shocked!

He got himself a new girlfriend who oozed over him. He bought her flowers, diamonds and precious stones. In a space of 6 months she had met his family. I thought he was doing it to make me jealous till I heard they were engaged and that was when my heart felt like it had been pulled out, stabbed and shredded!!!

I deserved every bit of it and I regret every word I said but there’s nothing I can do now. Peyton said she couldn’t marry Lucas the first time, he left and got engaged. Peyton flew back to tree hill and his fiancé ditched him on the altar. Lucas then married Peyton and they lived happily ever after.

Well… she didn’t ditch him and they are happily married,

Sigh…

Sadly, this is not a Hollywood movie.