I don’t believe in breaking the bank for a wedding, there is
forever after that! Forever house rent/maintenance, forever fees and forever
bills to pay so if you can save on your wedding that would be very wise indeed.
Of course we have what we want in our heads and our parents
have what THEY want, double that and you have 4 parents wanting what they want.
I didn’t think this would be a problem for a bit because at the end of the day
we are the ones getting married, so I was certain a few boundaries could be
made…. Apparently not in an Ibo wedding!
 |
| she was almost like her |
I attempted to plan my wedding myself but my mother-in-law
had her own plans. She brought in a wedding planner which I wasn’t too happy
about but reached a compromise by taking off a few duties from her and by
letting her know she was only hired to help and not run the show. My fiancé
didn’t care much about colour code so I picked it. I picked Green and Gold but
once again, mother-in-law had her own colours. She said we should do Blue as
this was her son’s favourite colour (but your son said he’s cool with Green and
Gold? He’s not complaining!) I really did not want colour riot so I reached
another compromise of Teal and Gold; at least there’s a bit of blue in there. I
started suspecting this Mother-in-law of mine with the way she kept on
objecting my wishes and I had to make sure my hubby told her we had discussed
everything and agreed as a couple that this was what we wanted, I mean she can
choose her aso ebi? She can handle food? That’s what the mothers do right? Hmm!
This is my wedding o! I won’t even agree!
The Hall we chose was already decorated so it cut costs for
us. The wedding planner didn’t want to agree that it was fine enough and even
offered to decorate it. I explained to her I was content with the décor but she
was adamant and of course with backing from the in-laws I had to listen. Ok I
decided to hear what she had to say, after all the (boring) ideas she put
forward she now added insult upon injury by charging 1 million Naira for it!
Say wetin happen! That décor in that hall cost 400k! Needless to say the
conversation ended there.
I was beginning to get fed up of the barging in and changing
of things by my fiancé’s siblings and it was weighing me down, I thought many
times of just talking to his mum like a daughter to a mother but I didn’t know
how to go about it without probably offending her. Is there a polite way of
saying “back off”? Because that’s how I felt anytime she spoke about one thing
or the other that I didn’t like. My family members on the other hand were very
helpful and supportive. My ever efficient sister was my chief bridesmaid and
she handled the job very well. My wedding dress was on point, the bridesmaids
dresses were stunning and cloth matter was sorted, my sister handled everything
beauty, even make up (she did my make up for the wedding) so at least I was
happy about that.
Some of my friends dint try sha, they wanted to use me to
pay their shop rent. I asked one to do cocktails for me and she charged 285
Naira per head whereas a total stranger gave me for 170 Naira per head. Even as
I told her to reduce for me she was doing shakara, Na so friendship be? For my
other friend I just told her I wanted beads, I didn’t dare mention wedding so
that she won’t charge me and when she found out it was too late (hehe).
For a while plans went smoothly, no interruptions, no new
ideas. The wedding planner faced her own and I faced my own. It was looking
like we were all getting along till we had a mini family meeting; my parents
and I wanted to contribute to paying for some of the expenses of the wedding
and my sister-in-law dared to ask “where will you get the money from?” I began
to boil! I explained to her that it wasn’t a problem, we talked about number of
guests and I calmly explained we did not want too many guests, mother-in-law just
charged in “come, this wedding is not your own o! This is my first and only son
and you will see many people there whether you like it or not! This is our
wedding, we foot the bill, we do everything, you go and get yourself ready and
present yourself to your husband, go and look fine, finish!” kai! “HOW DARE YOU INSULT US! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU
ARE! THIS IS MY WEDDING NOT YOURS AND DEFINITELY NOT YOUR BUSH VILLAGE PEOPLE
STILL LIVING IN ANCIENT TIMES! I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT AND YOU WILL SIT BACK
AND ACCEPT EVERYTHING! NOW, GET OUT!
In America I’m sure I could have said that but here, (lol)
hmm! I still wanted to marry sha. I just took everything in and poured out my
frustration to hubby. He completely understood and even spoke to his people on
my behalf, with that they chilled small, sigh.
Wedding day came and I was up by 6am! Even though mass was
at 9 I wasn’t taking any chances. I was dressed and ready by 8 with full make
up on. The hairstylist came late but everything was still on track as my able
chiefo yelled at her and kept her on her toes to finish making the bridal
party’s hair on time. I dint wait for all that o, I already started finding my
way to the rented Limo as my priority at that point was to have a majestic
father-daughter walk down the aisle. As I went downstairs I was already imagining
how I will come out of this limo in elegance and glamour, looking posh posing
for photographs… my daydream shattered to pieces as I saw the bonnet of the
limo open and the driver fanning smoke out of it! I just broke down and started
crying. Like seriously! Today of all days! My sister tried to pacify me half
upset I almost messed up my makeup. At the end we had to use the photographer’s
car to get to church and I cried almost all the way! The photographer kept
consoling me and my sister kept trying to revamp my face. I was too sad and the
only thing that could change that was if I got to the church on time. Luckily I
got there at the nick of time and could have my majestic walk, seeing my fresh
fiancé also lit up my heart and limo problem automatically wiped from my
memory.
I thought the drama ended in the morning only to get to the reception and see some funny shaped rubbish hanging from the ceiling of the already beautifully decorated hall! This had wedding planner written all over it! After I told her I dint want her décor she went behind my back to get it done! I just freed cos it was too late to do anything about it. Even the other services she promised to provide she didn’t, it was just all in the book, see ushers scanty, people complaining they hadn’t eaten ( I even chuckled at that one, shebi I said not too many guests) where was the famous dessert table? All her talk was wash! Our MC decided to act his own play during the wedding. During negotiation stage he charged us 40k o, we told him ok go and check the venue, he didn’t, that’s how he started vexing at the reception that he should have charged us more as he didn’t know the wedding was big like that especially after seeing the huge hall. He started throwing tantrums talking about charging 200k but of course it was too late so my hubby’s friend helped us handle him by paying his balance and sending him off.
Apart from all that, the day was beautiful! The church was beautifully decorated and I got all the glamorous pictures I wanted! The DJ was on point and made everyone turn up! After everything I was so happy that it was as If nothing bad happened, I even hugged and played with my mother-in-law and hubby’s sisters like we never had issues and forgave the limo guy for messing my morning up. I got a chance to take a ride and it was lovely! As we drove to our new home in this beautifully decorated romantic back seat, I thanked God for a successful day and for finally joining me to the man of my dreams!
My advice to Brides everywhere is never to let anything upset you on your big day, just laugh and smile through it all! Also always keep food for your bridal party because ushers tend to forget they exist.
And there you have it, a moderate turned happy Bridezilla!
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