Hmm... of all the people in the world I was certain I would not be a bridezilla, not in a million years because I don't like trouble. I'd rather leave you to do whatever you want than cause an argument or a debate, its just so much wahala!
That was my mind frame o, till they showed me pepper and I realised I had a Banshee inside me!
My proposal was really sweet; it was nothing special as we didn't travel to any expensive location or have a party, it was just a lovely sunny day by the beach. we walked hand in hand sinking our feet into the sand of the washed up shore, a few poetic words were said and an "I do" was very much in place.
Our parents were more than happy to hear we were finally getting married as we dated for quite a while (8 years). My aunties (of course) always used to say that I was not getting any younger and my friends often made me feel like he was holding me down, "dump him jare, no time" or "he's playing with you o! he'll soon go and marry one small girl". I was under so much pressure at one time that I almost gave in but later realized that God's time is the best and He did it for me.
Preparations took off immediately and the date was set for 6 months after the proposal (sharp sharp). It was as if my mother had been fantasizing about it for years because she was already 2 steps ahead with venue, decor, catering etc. I didn't mind for a while but when I saw she wanted to book Shina Peters and Daddy Showkey I was like "nah mehn, lets save that money biko". I then had to step in with my demands on the colours I wanted, the cake, my wedding dress and other things.
I had these group of friends that were my girls since Uni, they were my sisters and confidants and I usually didn't make a big decision without checking with them first. Everything I did somewhat evolved around their approval and I was very happy they endorsed my relationship when it started. Obviously all 6 of them were chosen to be my bridesmaids but my close cousin was maid of honour to avoid fight. I dont know if I expected too much but when I told these friends of mine I was getting married their responses were quite cold, "ehen... congrats... " he actually did? congrats". I dont know but what do you think? I guess I just wished there was a bit more enthusiasm in the replies. Even for wedding preparation they were barely supportive, it was only one of them who called once or twice and even when I asked if she could help with something she said she was busy with work. Anyhow, I tried to ignore their funny behaviour and continued on my own.
My mum was on a roll! she sorted every single thing from cake to DJ to MC, Alaga, photography, videography gbo gbo e, it was as if she had all of them on speed dial from the moment I introduced her to my hubby! everyday she would go and meet up with one vendor or the other, negotiate and place down payment. Before I used to think that she was overexcited and rushing things because he was from a wealthy family but I remembered that I was the first marriage in the family and the only girl. At first I enjoyed the luxury of a mum wedding planner but after a while she became a bit controlling, saying things like "this dress is not nice jo, choose the one that is full like a ball gown"(and she knew I wanted something A-line) or " ah! mba! aso ebi is good, it will make the place colourful and your friends will want to buy" (after I had said I did not want aso ebi but just a general colour) "ehn, say wetin? general colour ke? Aso ebi jare, different colours!" after a while I just started keeping quiet, I guess it wasn't such a big deal for me to argue.
3 weeks to the wedding and I was far from excited. The only people who seemed supportive were my control mum, my cousins and a few good friends but they were not the ones I really wanted to support me, where were my "big 6"? my real paddies? nowhere to be found! I started thinking maybe it was because I did not spend enough time with them but that was even difficult to do as I had to follow my mum everywhere, I then organised a girls night out so we could all meet up but got a text full of excuses, only one of them showed up and I felt really bad, I just hoped it was because they were busy or that they had already planned a bridal shower for me and that was why they didn't show.
1 week to the wedding and no bridal shower, no hen night. A little consolation was the lunch and cinema my cousins took me to and although it meant a lot I was still hurt. To top it up I felt my mum was the bride because I hardly had a say in anything and it was becoming too much and I knew at one point in time I was going to break!
on the day we went for the final fitting of my wedding dress (the ugly one I didn't like) I saw a pretty A-line dress on one of the dummies in the bridal shop, it was so beautiful! I told my mum I really liked the dress but she was like "honey you already have one" I kept quiet. They brought the dress, I tried it on and still did not like it. While mum was talking to the manager I just kept staring at the dress on the mannequin; the beautiful lace detail and the lovely flowing flared bottom. I had always felt this would suit me being a tall person than a ball gown... I broke into tears! I mean is it fair for a bride to be treated like a nobody for her own wedding? her opinions should matter now? mum then said " sweetie did you hear what she said? she's given us a free bridal hair comb!" she broke into my train of thoughts and I didn't know when I said "I don't like this dress" she replied "ehn but its-" "I DON'T WANT THIS DRESS AH AN! I'VE BEEN SAYING IT SINCE! GOSH!!!" there was silence. still pumped with adrenaline I took off the horrid one and went to try the one I had been eyeing all day, it fit like it was made for me! I told my mum that I wont be forced to wear something I didn't want and even the manager and sales girls had to admit I looked better in the A line. mum did not say a word but showed her approval with a nod and made the necessary changes in the transaction, I was so happy and felt joy for the first time in a very long while. I later apologized for yelling and explained to her how I really felt about many things, she felt bad and tried to make amends with the few days left, I was touched by her efforts and hugged her many times because I knew she was just trying to help and for that I was truly grateful.
The traditional wedding day was very successful and alas my big 6 finally turned up and showed some support by dancing with me when needed. I was so overjoyed that I forgave them for not planning a bridal shower and I had a little energy after the ceremony so I considered a hen night. After freshening up I went to meet them and saw they were looking gloomy and dull. I asked if they were ok and even offered to bring food and drinks in case they didn't get anything to eat. I went to get drinks and some food, even when I returned they were still seated looking (possibly eyeing me), I even asked what was wrong and they barely answered, that was when I had had it, I banged the tray on the table and exploded! " WHAT THE F*** IS ALL THIS! WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU? OVER THE YEARS I'VE SERVED YOU, I'VE SUPPORTED YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN AND THIS IS WHAT I GET ON MY OWN WEDDING?? I ranted and screamed, cried and yelled so loud that everyone in the house knew I was talking to wicked ungrateful girls. after a while the parlor was filled with amebos and they all felt embarrassed, I was so pissed I just concluded with " GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! DON'T COME FOR MY WEDDING!" I damned the consequences, I told myself I would rather have no bridesmaids than jealous, envious ones. what else would have caused such a behaviour? and to confirm it my cousin later told me that she overheard them gossiping about me saying that they couldn't believe I was getting married before them as they thought I was the least attractive in the group. One even said that as fine as she was my fiance picked me instead of her, I cried ehn, can you imagine having such toxic girls around you for years and not even realizing it?
3 of them called to apologize the night before the white wedding and begged to be put back on the train so I forgave them. Out of the other 3, one sent me a nasty text while the other 2 texted me a few days after the wedding but I didn't see it till after my marvelous 1 month honeymoon! quite frankly I didn't care what they had to say, I enjoyed the white wedding too much to care. it was a beautiful day! my mum did very well with everything she organised and I even thought to myself that maybe it was even good she controlled everything (except my dress sha). I didn't get many gifts (I'm sure it was because of the overpriced aso ebi) but it was a nice, jovial crowd.
Most importantly I'm married to my other half and I can never have felt better!
so... yeah!
That was my mind frame o, till they showed me pepper and I realised I had a Banshee inside me!
My proposal was really sweet; it was nothing special as we didn't travel to any expensive location or have a party, it was just a lovely sunny day by the beach. we walked hand in hand sinking our feet into the sand of the washed up shore, a few poetic words were said and an "I do" was very much in place.
Our parents were more than happy to hear we were finally getting married as we dated for quite a while (8 years). My aunties (of course) always used to say that I was not getting any younger and my friends often made me feel like he was holding me down, "dump him jare, no time" or "he's playing with you o! he'll soon go and marry one small girl". I was under so much pressure at one time that I almost gave in but later realized that God's time is the best and He did it for me.
Preparations took off immediately and the date was set for 6 months after the proposal (sharp sharp). It was as if my mother had been fantasizing about it for years because she was already 2 steps ahead with venue, decor, catering etc. I didn't mind for a while but when I saw she wanted to book Shina Peters and Daddy Showkey I was like "nah mehn, lets save that money biko". I then had to step in with my demands on the colours I wanted, the cake, my wedding dress and other things.
I had these group of friends that were my girls since Uni, they were my sisters and confidants and I usually didn't make a big decision without checking with them first. Everything I did somewhat evolved around their approval and I was very happy they endorsed my relationship when it started. Obviously all 6 of them were chosen to be my bridesmaids but my close cousin was maid of honour to avoid fight. I dont know if I expected too much but when I told these friends of mine I was getting married their responses were quite cold, "ehen... congrats... " he actually did? congrats". I dont know but what do you think? I guess I just wished there was a bit more enthusiasm in the replies. Even for wedding preparation they were barely supportive, it was only one of them who called once or twice and even when I asked if she could help with something she said she was busy with work. Anyhow, I tried to ignore their funny behaviour and continued on my own.
My mum was on a roll! she sorted every single thing from cake to DJ to MC, Alaga, photography, videography gbo gbo e, it was as if she had all of them on speed dial from the moment I introduced her to my hubby! everyday she would go and meet up with one vendor or the other, negotiate and place down payment. Before I used to think that she was overexcited and rushing things because he was from a wealthy family but I remembered that I was the first marriage in the family and the only girl. At first I enjoyed the luxury of a mum wedding planner but after a while she became a bit controlling, saying things like "this dress is not nice jo, choose the one that is full like a ball gown"(and she knew I wanted something A-line) or " ah! mba! aso ebi is good, it will make the place colourful and your friends will want to buy" (after I had said I did not want aso ebi but just a general colour) "ehn, say wetin? general colour ke? Aso ebi jare, different colours!" after a while I just started keeping quiet, I guess it wasn't such a big deal for me to argue.
3 weeks to the wedding and I was far from excited. The only people who seemed supportive were my control mum, my cousins and a few good friends but they were not the ones I really wanted to support me, where were my "big 6"? my real paddies? nowhere to be found! I started thinking maybe it was because I did not spend enough time with them but that was even difficult to do as I had to follow my mum everywhere, I then organised a girls night out so we could all meet up but got a text full of excuses, only one of them showed up and I felt really bad, I just hoped it was because they were busy or that they had already planned a bridal shower for me and that was why they didn't show.
1 week to the wedding and no bridal shower, no hen night. A little consolation was the lunch and cinema my cousins took me to and although it meant a lot I was still hurt. To top it up I felt my mum was the bride because I hardly had a say in anything and it was becoming too much and I knew at one point in time I was going to break!
on the day we went for the final fitting of my wedding dress (the ugly one I didn't like) I saw a pretty A-line dress on one of the dummies in the bridal shop, it was so beautiful! I told my mum I really liked the dress but she was like "honey you already have one" I kept quiet. They brought the dress, I tried it on and still did not like it. While mum was talking to the manager I just kept staring at the dress on the mannequin; the beautiful lace detail and the lovely flowing flared bottom. I had always felt this would suit me being a tall person than a ball gown... I broke into tears! I mean is it fair for a bride to be treated like a nobody for her own wedding? her opinions should matter now? mum then said " sweetie did you hear what she said? she's given us a free bridal hair comb!" she broke into my train of thoughts and I didn't know when I said "I don't like this dress" she replied "ehn but its-" "I DON'T WANT THIS DRESS AH AN! I'VE BEEN SAYING IT SINCE! GOSH!!!" there was silence. still pumped with adrenaline I took off the horrid one and went to try the one I had been eyeing all day, it fit like it was made for me! I told my mum that I wont be forced to wear something I didn't want and even the manager and sales girls had to admit I looked better in the A line. mum did not say a word but showed her approval with a nod and made the necessary changes in the transaction, I was so happy and felt joy for the first time in a very long while. I later apologized for yelling and explained to her how I really felt about many things, she felt bad and tried to make amends with the few days left, I was touched by her efforts and hugged her many times because I knew she was just trying to help and for that I was truly grateful.
The traditional wedding day was very successful and alas my big 6 finally turned up and showed some support by dancing with me when needed. I was so overjoyed that I forgave them for not planning a bridal shower and I had a little energy after the ceremony so I considered a hen night. After freshening up I went to meet them and saw they were looking gloomy and dull. I asked if they were ok and even offered to bring food and drinks in case they didn't get anything to eat. I went to get drinks and some food, even when I returned they were still seated looking (possibly eyeing me), I even asked what was wrong and they barely answered, that was when I had had it, I banged the tray on the table and exploded! " WHAT THE F*** IS ALL THIS! WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU? OVER THE YEARS I'VE SERVED YOU, I'VE SUPPORTED YOU THROUGH THICK AND THIN AND THIS IS WHAT I GET ON MY OWN WEDDING?? I ranted and screamed, cried and yelled so loud that everyone in the house knew I was talking to wicked ungrateful girls. after a while the parlor was filled with amebos and they all felt embarrassed, I was so pissed I just concluded with " GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! DON'T COME FOR MY WEDDING!" I damned the consequences, I told myself I would rather have no bridesmaids than jealous, envious ones. what else would have caused such a behaviour? and to confirm it my cousin later told me that she overheard them gossiping about me saying that they couldn't believe I was getting married before them as they thought I was the least attractive in the group. One even said that as fine as she was my fiance picked me instead of her, I cried ehn, can you imagine having such toxic girls around you for years and not even realizing it?
3 of them called to apologize the night before the white wedding and begged to be put back on the train so I forgave them. Out of the other 3, one sent me a nasty text while the other 2 texted me a few days after the wedding but I didn't see it till after my marvelous 1 month honeymoon! quite frankly I didn't care what they had to say, I enjoyed the white wedding too much to care. it was a beautiful day! my mum did very well with everything she organised and I even thought to myself that maybe it was even good she controlled everything (except my dress sha). I didn't get many gifts (I'm sure it was because of the overpriced aso ebi) but it was a nice, jovial crowd.
Most importantly I'm married to my other half and I can never have felt better!
so... yeah!
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