Mirror, mirror on the Wall

Mirror, mirror on the wall... Who am I?

Saturday 26 March 2011

New Generation Entrepreneurs 2011

For us Nigerians we recall the many times our profile images were dominated with funny and witty display pictures by this guy!  and I think  he's on his way to becoming (that's if he is'nt already!) a graphic genius!
























Name: Kanso Ogbolu

Age: 25 years

Job: Ceo, O.B.K studios. Branding, photography, 3D modeling & animation, Graphics & Multimedia and Architecture.


Price range:N9,500 to N250,000

Contact details: 14, Saji Ayangade street Anthony village, Lagos. +234804742801. Facebook.com/obkstudios

Email Address: labaska776@yahoo.com

Favourite quote: work hard, rock hard, Mad fun ~ The Smiling Hat.

 

Monday 21 March 2011

The Doll...

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I always thought I was the ugliest person in the world! I had a fat belly and that made me feel ugly. I rarely socialized because I felt I was not attractive enough and I envied pretty girls I saw on my way to work. I felt God cursed me with wealth but no beauty! this haunted me since I was a teenager. I remembered once my mother told me that I was beautiful, I did not believe her because none of the boys in class told me so, they rarely even looked at me! the closest a boy got to me was to ask for a pen. he did that occasionally but that was all he ever did. I grew up focusing on the only thing that made me happy; family and success. I was a very intelligent student and so always had good grades, once my family was intact and my work done to perfection I was happy till of course the depression of being lonely and ugly set in.
there happened to be one guy I fancied who worked close to my office, we often bumped into each other but he never noticed me, I noticed him  quite well because he was so handsome! he had a symmetric face, he was tall and his eyes were to die for, I observed this anytime he spoke to a friend. Then, I would stroll a little slower and tilt my head a little just to catch his golden brown eyes. the angle I looked often hurt my neck but I did not care because I was beholding something beautiful.
One day I could not stop thinking about those brown eyes and thought of how I could get him to notice me. I immediately became depressed because I remembered I was ugly! I thought about what I could do to get his attention then it came to me, have a liposuction! I was so happy about this new found idea of looking beautiful surgically, it shot my hopes up. the next weekend I booked an appointment for one and in 3 painful months I got the tummy I had always wanted. I danced in front of the mirror in my underwear admiring my figure, for the first time in my life I felt beautiful and decided I was ready to lure my prey.
the following week I wore a short tight fitting dress to show off my curves and my flat belly. I also waited at the spot where Mr handsome usually passed. when I saw him approach I stroke a pose I had practiced over the weekend but alas he paid no attention, he just walked past, not even a side glance! I felt so bad that I did not have lunch that day. I thought to myself "what else can I do?" then another idea came to me, get long silky hair! I saw that in movies and that it got a lot of attention from guys especially when you whip it back and forth. so the next weekend I got a very long golden brown weave, the colour of his eyes!( maybe that would get his attention). I also decided to get a boob job (which healed in a month), shaped my eyebrows and shaped my teeth. I felt beautiful once all these were complete, I could not stop staring at myself most mornings and decided I was ready to strike that pose again!
I did strike that pose but unfortunately Mr handsome did not notice me. I did not feel too bad because 5 other guys did including his friend who asked for my number, he asked if I was new that he had never seen me before. I felt so happy and my self esteem shot up like a brand new space rocket! I felt so alive! although Mr handsome still did not pay attention to me, the number of guys that noticed me was good enough! I felt on top of the world! I even went on series of dates and received many gifts, I actually felt beautiful! I became a boy magnet! it was wonderful!!!!
After 6 months I got tired of it all, most of my dates wanted only one thing, they flattered and told me how beautiful I was then tried to lure me to their rooms for a "quick" one, I rarely spoke to family because I was always busy buying "sexy" clothes and brown weaves, I had even reduced my performance at work, my boss called me in once and also tried his luck and Mr Handsome still did not pay attention to me! his friend was the worst of all the guys I met, he tried to "lure" me and once I did not comply he stopped talking to me. all of a sudden I felt I could not trust any guy looking the way I did, I made a few male friends but it was very difficult to discern who was genuine and who just wanted "something".
one day I decided to look into the mirror again but this time I was not happy with what I saw... I looked... so... different!! I couldn't even recognize myself, I looked like a very pretty doll! perfect in every sense but not human. All of a sudden I missed my imperfections, I missed my family I had shut out for so long because I wanted to be noticed, I missed my devotion to work and most of all I missed me! sure I was not beautiful but I was happy! I had everything anyone would need to be happy, people who loved me truly and anything I ever needed, then I thought to myself, I was depressed because I wanted to be depressed! and I was also kind of ungrateful. I thought I was impatient and all of a sudden I did not think the problem was me being ugly, it was that I thought I was ugly!
the hours I spent staring at the figure in the mirror made me do a couple of things next. I took out the fake bust (it did  hurt!) it was too heavy anyway, I took out the weave and styled my hair (I finally noticed how long and beautiful my hair was) as for the flat belly, I still enjoyed it but promised myself I'd go to the gym frequently, dint think I would like to go under the knife again!
Of course when I was back to "boring" me the fans stopped coming and my phone stopped ringing but I did not care, I found something I had never had, this boosted my confidence more than anything and I felt human again, I even felt beautiful and reminded myself about that with a smile in front of the mirror every morning (I also noticed I had a lovely smile!). I walked with my head held high and confident strides, then one day I received a pleasant "hello" from someone who walked beside me, it even came with a wide smile! I smiled back with fire crackers in my head, it was Mr Handsome.

Tuesday 15 March 2011

Spare the Rod and love the Wife

Chiamaka is the envy of all her friends and colleagues. She lives in one of the best places in Lagos. She has a very handsome husband and five beautiful children. She is also blessed with beauty, brains and everything in between. There is a saying that goes like this “money cannot buy happiness but it is better to cry in a BMW than a bicycle” in chiamaka’s case she would rather have the bicycle!
She receives a slap each time the food is not ready on time or if it is not tasty. She is ridiculed every now and then about her millions of naira paying job and even asked to quit a couple of times. No one knows this is what she goes through because she never tells anyone and so the world sees chiamaka as a beautiful successful woman with a husband to die for!
There are many similar stories like this today and most of them go untreated. This is mostly because we are in a patriarchal society where the men are always right! Domestic violence has wounded the hearts of many and broken many homes.  Although some women pluck up the courage to leave, some are too “involved” to do so.
Domestic violence does not only affect women, it also affects husbands and children but in most cases the wives feel the most impact. The case of this “silent” threat to society can be seen in a number of ways. First of all men are more prone to aggression than women, because of this male children can easily learn aggression from their fathers through observation, what the father tells them about women is what they will learn. Some men believe that women should be submissive hence the beating and even in some cases women are likened to possessions. Coupled with frustration at work, a man can decide to act this out on his wife or children, usually the one closer to him- the wife. At first it is a mistake then it becomes an inevitable mistake and you hear stories like” it just happens”. A man who lacks self control is not likely to run a healthy home, it is generally believed that if a man beats his wife she has every right to leave  but most of these women do not because they have accepted their “fate”, such a sad fate indeed.
This not only causes physical damage but also emotional devastation. It leads many women to depression, alcohol use and even suicide. It is not only kicks and punches, sexual violence and verbal abuse are also as terrible if not worse. Most times the children are also affected because they hear mummy screaming and crying or they see daddy hit mummy. When a male child sees this ( especially at a tender age) he can learn this aggressive behaviour and develop with a mentality that  that it’s okay to hit women and so man begins to harbour “animals”  who keep their wives or girlfriends  on check with a kick, slap or insulting word.
I know some guys might feel offended, they might feel they are always seen as “the bad guys” when it comes to matters of women but no matter how much a woman upsets a man he has no right to hit her!
I suggest women who live in such homes to seek help and counselling immediately (a simple dialogue will do if a man wants to correct his wife) and if any woman is in an abusive relationship, I suggest she ends it while she can to prevent long lasting sorrow!  Such aggression is transferable and can slowly give birth to an aggressive society. If you are a man with a bad or quick temper you can get help! that is the sacrifice one must make to build a happy home. So please do spare the rod and love the wife!