Life is truly interesting. When I moved back to Nigeria after my masters program, I moved with the mindset that I shall make an effort to remain single and not marry till I'm 30! (I know, we're quite a few out there lol!) I came back to do power to the women! but here I am, I married at 26! lol!
hubby and I were friends for about 9 years but started dating the year I returned (jazz! lol). Anyway, After a very simple and sweet proposal (done on my birthday), I knew exactly what I wanted for my wedding. I could already picture the garden lit with fairy lights, transparent chairs and canopies, white Doves hanging and fresh flowers on every table, nicely decorated with pearls and butterflies. A massive wedding cake, live music, etc. etc. I wanted a fairytale wedding.
Plans commenced swiftly as my sister had gotten married the previous year so everything was still fresh; event planner on standby and vendors were still at my fingertips (I was practically assistant/senior planner for her wedding lol! :-) ), my mum was ever ready to set the ball rolling. My dad was chief coordinator himself lol! he also had what he wanted in his mind but mehn, we had to do family meetings for that one. Hubby and I wanted a small wedding of 300 people max but we had one jaiye parent on each side so a compromise had to be reached for all to be happy at the end.
My bridal train was easy to pick cos I knew exactly who I wanted supporting me on this journey. I had heard too many stories of friends turning bad but I was sure the girls I picked won't have that problem. I decided to choose a friend from a time in my life (Junior secondary, senior secondary, university and masters) I added hubby's cousin to the mix (inlaw bonding started) and my younger sister was my chief bridesmaid.
I had a designer in mind for my wedding dress (the one my older sister used) but there was a little confusion with her outfit at the time, so to avoid wahala I just got a neutral person to handle my dress. The best part of this decision was that it was half the price and still beautiful.
Preparations commenced and everything was pretty much straightforward so I don't really have much to say about the process, everyone was happy with the cost of things (well, some of the costs lol) and I didn't have wahala with my girls cos they supported when necessary. I became a bridezilla when the following happened:
I had ordered and planned my bridesmaid dresses up to 3 months before my wedding. I didn't want it to be as if we were fighting with the designer who did my sister's dresses so I asked her to handle the bridesmaid's dresses. I cut costs drastically and asked that nothing should be shipped, I made sure all materials were bought here so we didn't need to incur unnecessary costs. omo, I felt like this annoyed the babe cos the bridesmaids' dresses were not ready on time and when I saw how they looked during the fitting I was so upset! I started shouting and crying cos I really wanted them to be perfect. My sister called the designer to speak to her about it and she said they weren't finished that was why they looked that way. once I heard that I just flared up! I said "its a lie jo! its because I didn't spend much and I'm not a celebrity, if I was you would have taken it seriously" see drama that night o! I sent the dresses back and was contemplating buying another set of clothes but after some back and forth I just freed and thankfully the dresses came out pretty at the end.
For wedding preparations, I was so caught up with the white wedding and kind of left my parents in charge of the trad but I was planning everything so much that it seemed like my people just left me to handle certain things. Would you believe on the traditional wedding day, there were no chairs! that's how people were standing o! me I was at the salon doing my hair as all the crase was happening! when I came back iI just saw the wedding planner taking serious heat from my dad, workers were hiding to dodge his fury, meehn! that day I was lucky this happened at the beginning when there were few guests and dad handled it quickly as he had a rental company on speed dial so they provided chairs, me I just went to hide to get dressed and resolved to really check every other thing.
After that incident, I really felt bad and thought that maybe I was a bit too controlling during the period' so I decided to let go a little and let my people and the planner handle it. I decided to focus on my friends so I got them spa vouchers and organized a spa get together, we also had an engagement party and this really helped ease the tension. I also asked my fiance how he was doing, I realized I got so carried away with planning what I wanted that I forgot there were some things he wanted to. We had a serious discussion on a lot of things and I finally concluded I had to chill on planning.
The wedding day came and everything looked perfect! just as I had pictured it... till we got back from church and saw a carnival waiting for us. Upon our discussion, our parents still invited the whole world! at this point I just decided to dance my way into marriage because the deed had already been done, will I start sending people away? who born me? lool! the good thing about it was they were a lovely crowd, the MC cracked us up so bad and the crowd really made it a great day.
After the reception, I went to hubby's family house for blessings (something done in the Yoruba culture) while my bridal party went clubbing ( rockers united!)
when I look back I'm just so grateful for the little things. After the whole "fairytale wedding" drama, at the end of the day what really touched me was how family and friends put up with me, all the diva attitude, everything. I had a bridesmaid who cut her vacation short to be at my wedding, with all the Ebola wahala at the time, my English Friend braved it all to come to Nigeria. Its so easy to forget the financial sacrifices our parents also make. Yes, they are happy to plan but one needs to be truly grateful to have such support.
Honestly if you have good people in your life, just cherish them.
So I guess I might have been a little bridezilla .lol!
