The Mirror: April 2011

Thursday 28 April 2011

The Apple on the Tall Tree

Recently, I watched an episode of a series which made me question my reasons for indulging in such. At first it was funny but it kind of lost me along the line especially this particular episode on Sex Education that showed ( mocked rather) the characters who wanted to abstain. You might not agree with me but I think this can be equated to real life.

Consider this typical scenario where a boyfriend asks his girlfriend for sex and she refuses. her reason is " I want to save it for marriage". The guy who probably wants it badly might say " if you love me you would let me" or "this relationship would only work if...." would you say the guy really loves her?

I believe sex is carried out for three major reasons; Ego, Love and Lust.

One might probably agree that many guys take delight in talking about their various 'escapades' with girls. A guy is possibly seen as a 'hard guy' depending on the number of girls he has slept with. Sometimes in order to be 'recognized' some guys go as far as lying just to gain approval from the 'gentlemen's club' I think it is such a pity. I believe guys too are affected when it comes to this issue and it might seem its not a big deal for them but it actually is. I have never heard of or seen any guy who would tap his sister on the back if she told him she had slept with 5 guys in the past 2 weeks. So if you would not like to hear your sister say that why do it to other people's sisters? This brings me to my next reason; Lust

Man is a social animal (although I do not like the word 'animal' it is needed in this context) and like all in this class has the tendency to act on instinct. I've heard a couple of people say 'you be wood?' 'its not possible' 'no dull yourself'. Sometimes I think about this and ask what type of creature Man really is. Man is an intelligent being, he reasons, he thinks! I don't think there would be civilization today if man acted solely on instinct, the cases it was done mostly ended up in man made disasters and world wide massacre! Man has control over his body, his body does not control him. Yes there are definitely times where strong temptations come and a great pull of attraction sets in but I still think one has the power to resist. If one knew there was poison in a very delicious creamy cake and it was sooo attractive and 'tasty' to the eyes, would one still eat it? I believe not and the possible reason would be mostly because one DOES NOT want to either because he or she knows its poisonous or because he/she is not hungry and wont just eat because it is attractive; that's how I see sex, one has the choice to abstain and it doesn't make anyone less a person. One might have thought about the consequences and acknowledged that it is not necessary till the right time. I know some might say after all the other party wants it or the physical appearance makes it hard to abstain, this still takes me back to my example however, I think if one believes in something they not only think it but act it and that's why the saying 'actions speak louder than words' is still very much relevant in this day and age. what I mean is If one wants to abstain from sex (till marriage) It wont be fair to 'tease' guys either through dressing or skills of seduction, its either you want it or you don't, also it wont be fair to lure someone into a compromising position even if it takes two to tango so therefore, one can help him/herself by not putting him/herself in a situation where it is uncomfortable or difficult for both parties to stick to their decision.

This brings me to my last reason which is Love. This is the purest of all reasons and I believe it only Exists in Marriage. there are many pricey gifts in this world but I believe none can be compared to the gift of giving ones whole self untouched, untainted... I think that's the best gift one can ever take into marriage. It is a whole new way of coming to know the one who you would spend the rest of your life with, it is a precious thing which creates a bond so strong, so blessed, so beautiful and that is why it could be seen as a covenant between two people, an unbreakable promise that is to be kept forever and ever!

I believe when two people have sex outside marriage it creates an unhealthy bond and this is usually what makes it hard for one to let go of their first or second or the one who did it best! I also think this could be another reason why divorce rates keep increasing. I wont be surprised if spiritual husbands and spiritual wives exist because this activity could also be said to be a spiritual one which has rules and if broken has consequences attached to it. I also don't believe that someone should marry because of sex! marriage is not all about sex and relationships should not be either.

So if someone wants to abstain till marriage it is his/her choice, such people should be admired and encouraged because it takes strong will, discipline and character to do so.

"A virgin woman is an unattainable object of desire, and it is precisely her unattainability that increases her desirability. Feminism has told a lie in defense of its own promiscuity, namely, that there is no sexual power to be found in virginity. On the contrary, virgin sexuality has extraordinary and unusual power. There's no second-guessing a virgin's motives: her strength comes from a source beyond her transitory whims. It is sexuality dedicated to hope, to the future, to marital love, to children and to God. Her virginity is, at the same time, a statement of her mature independence from men. It allows a woman to become a whole person in her own right, without needing a man either to revolt against or to complete what she lacks. It is very simple, really: no matter how wonderful, charming, handsome, intelligent, thoughtful, rich or persuasive he is, he simply cannot have her. A virgin is perfectly unpossessable.

So-called sexual freedom is really just proclaiming oneself to be available for free, and therefore without value."choose" such freedom is tantamount to saying that one is worth nothing."

Sarah E. Hinlicky

Saturday 16 April 2011

Blasted Immigrants!!!

I haven't really been a fan of politics but being exposed to BBC almost every second has made me a bit knowledgeable. Nigerian politics is another interesting topic with elections almost over and politicians trying very hard to win votes ranging from crying on air to getting Dbanj to campaign for them. I do hope the right person would be elected, its about time we had someone who is genuinely interested in improving the state of the country, Now lets get back to British politics!
Before I knew anything about the conservatives I actually liked them because I'm quite conservative myself; believe in having values, principles and stuff however it doesn't mean the same thing. A very interesting issue caught my attention yesterday about the cutting down of student visas and controlling the number of immigrants who enter the country. David Cameron gave a very convincing speech on the reasons why this needs to be done, citizens were also interviewed and most complained that the 'immigrants' were taking all their jobs! Pause.... doesn't job require skills? I truly believe if a Briton has the skills a company is looking for he/she would definitely (at least in most cases) be hired. In my opinion there is a higher chance of them getting good jobs than the 'immigrants and from what I've observed, it seems like many young Britons don't like the idea of education, probably most prefer 'all play' and no work because the country has done 'everything' for them. Imagine I could get a free house and some money every month without having to work! all I need to do is get pregnant at age 16 and I'm covered! Pause.... does this encourage any teen to work? I agree its a nice idea but I think its one of the reasons why many adolescents drop out of school. these young people already have it at the back of their minds that the government would take care of them so why should they stress themselves? they can do whatever they want! even down to taking responsibility for actions they are spoiled silly! a girl gets pregnant and she is freely given an abortion pill! as easy as that! so with all these how does one expect them to think about intellectual things or further their education to acquire skills? although I have met a few who are very hardworking and disciplined but that was because they chose to do something about their lives. Possibly most adolescents today want the easy way out, either become an artist or soccer player, they forget it still requires skill and not everyone has these talents which brings me back to the reason why 'immigrants' are 'taking' all their jobs.

I understand that immigration has a huge impact on population density but I do not believe it is the major problem Britain is facing. Now comes the issue of terrorist wannabes, sham marriages and crime rates. this might be another reason why he feels it so important to cut down on immigration, like he rightly said "good immigration not mass immigration" the thing is not every Black man is a terrorist or a crook or a criminal!!! I truly hope people would understand this one day, each black person should be seen as an individual and not a product of another's crime! I truly hope racism isn't rearing its ugly head again! the reason why I say this is because I don't think its civilised to label people based on the bad things others have done, I would not perceive every white man I see a paedophile or a psychopath so why cant I apply for a visa or job without someone raising an eyebrow because of my skin colour?
the truth is I believe Britain is blessed with good development, skills and technology one could learn but most of all I think one could learn these skills and go back to implement them in their home country and as a result, we develop ours to their standard and reduce the number of immigrants, then it becomes a win-win situation.