Another boring article about Love

when I heard the news I was very excited for Nomsy! She had accomplished so much at 23 which is quite a young age for one who is The M.D of Flora's Cakes and Cream, one of the most successful catering businesses in Nigeria. She's married to one of the finest men alive and lives in a luxurious home; every young girl's dream! and the best thing about it all is Nomsy is so simple! you would never know if you meet her for the first time. I'm quite happy for her because someone as hardworking as that only deserves the best.
I thought about this on my way to our annual "Fantastic Five" reunion. we had this every year on the 30th of December and that was the only time you could catch Nomsy, Terry, Chioma, Pippa and I all at once! we would have  liked to call ourselves "The Independent women" but Unilag students always have their way of doing things and so the former name stuck. We did have loads of fun back then; dated silly guys and got into all sorts of trouble, quarrelled about stupid things but always found our way back to each other. You could probably say we were a plausible definition of true friends and now all I can think of are their successful accomplishments.
Terry the socialite is the Public Relations Officer for The Nation Network and she earns big bucks for it! she always had a knack for organising events and putting up a very nice image of people, that's what I really like about her, always seeing the good in others. She also got what she deserved,  Kolade a well renowned car dealer. I remember when we used to tease Terry about Kolade, then she hated his guts. She swore she could never marry such a "jerk" but you know what they say,  "never say never", I laughed at the thought of this, I will surely remind her once I get to the venue but first I had to meet Pippa at the airport. Hmm... Pippa, always travelling to who knows where! darting from continent to continent. It was part of her job really. She was a Diplomat which fit her quite perfectly, she had always liked changing environments as fast as changing slippers and boyfriends. Pippa doesn't believe she can settle with one guy. She has this thinking that all guys are the same and should be treated that way. I don't think she has ever fallen in Love because that's what I see in Terry and Nomsy's eyes when they look at their husbands, its a beautiful thing. The couples look so settled and comfortable with each other. Although Terry didn't like to admit she was  lovestruck while she was dating Kolade, we would know when she missed him. Then  she would often yell at him when he called 5 minutes late! those were fun times!
Chioma wasn't really the outgoing type like most of us, she used to wonder how we could laugh and chatter for hours, she believed silence was for geniuses ( she was one herself) so only spoke when she thought it necessary to speak. People wondered how we could all tolerate her melancholic character but that was one side most people saw. She was fun loving at the right place and right time, decent and proper to the very last detail and we all admired her for that. She's engaged now to the lousiest man I know, Ade (also my close friend). They make an odd but good couple, a doctor and a Lawyer... hmm... probably every Nigerian parents' dream. I really wanted to see her! I amused myself with the thought of how she would keep up with such chatter but I guess love has a way of making opposites attract.
Thinking about this made me appreciate what we have become. We worked for independence till the end. People then used to say we were too strong headed for women,we never had the mentality of letting the men "do all the work". Some even said we might never get married with our attitude of never letting guys pay our bills and buy us expensive gifts. We did like and appreciate things like that but we believed in working hard to fend for ourselves and not being dependent on men. University mentality never really worked for us. the whole routine of liking a guy because he had a car or was rich, dating different guys for money or going out with rich old men, it was never our thing and I liked us for that.
However, I'm the only truly single one in the pack, I never really thought about it but I felt like I was still behind and maybe the odd one out. I have a good enough job myself; I host a talk show, the editor of a magazine, the director of  a non- governmental organisation for women's empowerment and the manager of Global Communications Network Nigeria. With all this I still felt unfulfilled.
 whenever I attended weddings my elderly aunties would poke me and say " when will you be next now" with a wink on their faces, I usually thought of telling them that at funerals with a mischievous smile. Society has a way of putting pressure on young girls that they become depressed and worried once they are not married at a particular age so some marry just to tie the knot.
Some also talk about security in the monetary sense and so look for rich men to marry, I think that is a terrible mistake. I believe if the one you love is not financially secure you can get a job yourself! and you both work together to make the marriage work and I think that fosters the bond in a marriage, however I did pray that none of my friends would marry lazy men!
Some also get married because their mates are married and they don't want to be left out of the "wives club". I thought that would happen to me but then again I'm Miss Independent... right? well, not really because I have to confess I have felt left out when my friends talk about their married lives. I have dated a few guys and often thought of how I could have made it work with them.
Tobi was ok, he tried to be a good boyfriend but he lacked respect and I couldn't accept that in a man. Osage was really sweet but he hadn't matured yet, he still needed to come to his own ( I guess its because we were the same age) but I had met many young guys who were focused and goal driven so I didn't think that was an excuse.  Chuka and I just could never be, we rarely talked about anything tangible and he did not like the fact that I was a working woman, I think that was why I backed out.
Pondering about these guys made me feel like I was being too picky, maybe I should just settle for any guy or do the chasing myself as a 21st century girl, but then how would I know if  he really wanted to get to know me if  I pounce on him the first time I meet him? how will I know I'm the one he needs when I do all the calling and gift giving? I will feel too desperate and I don't think any guy would like that.
O well, I believe I'm still young, I'm 23 years old! he will come! I think I  still prefer the old fashioned way of doing things. Yes, I would feel alienated while Dr  Mrs Chioma, Mrs Terry and Mrs Nomsy are talking about wedding photos and baby clothes and a bit alienated when nonchalant Pippa is talking about her December "catch" but as long as I keep being prayerful and being me I'm certain the right guy will come at the right time.