They lurk like ghoulish shadows round my bedside. They mock me, they tell me I'm a failure. They create a presence of cold winter, cold regret freezes my heart. I shiver at the sight of past wrong, feel remorse for the bad I've done. For the first in many years, I'm humbled to repentance.
I've caused so much harm that a second chance eludes me, cant think of excuses because I knew they were wrong, knew the gravity more than those who accompanied me and with more thinking I take all the blame and burden myself with guilt.
I wish my past could glide like the autumn leaves that sway in the breeze, wish they could bury themselves in the heap of snow to be frozen, never to be melted by the warm summer sun, never to be revisited in the pages of life. I wish they could be alternatively burnt in the furnace of forget and the dancing skeletons replaced by the white robe of innocence.
Sadly wishes aren't horses and mistake is a great reminder...
As I curl in clutched sheets and think of my past, hope gives me gladness and sends the ghosts running, I think of now. I act... I let go of guilt.
So I wake from the nightmare of things that were and look to now to dream and obtain a better future.
No comments:
Post a Comment