facebook Notes

These are my old notes from facebook... hope u like them.


ITS GREEN!
I waited in the bathroom, waited for hours, thought of what went wrong, what happened. i got caught off guard, just a split second hoping it wont matter, hoping for no consequences, then i began to feel nauseous, dizzy, easily tired. what could all this mean? i refused to think it, i refused to go there but it was about time, the clock is ticking.

I checked it, thought i saw a flicker of red. a spark of hope lit my heart but the tiny light was donated by the GREEN. my heart sunk, it felt like a gush of green drowned the light red, it glowed GREEN, bright GREEN.

why, why me? i am from a reputable home. good parents, siblings, what do i tell them? i go to school, have studies, how about my future? it cant happen now, i cant do it, i cannot! the shame i would bear, the news would spread like wild fire... i have to stop it now!

three weeks have passed, I have done nothing but its been a month since i knew. the signs become obvious everyday. the boy knew, he took off! wish i didn't look into his eyes and swallow the sweet words that were like music to my ears, wish i didn't encourage the midnight walks and starlit poetry, wish i dint gaze on that face with the devilish smile... if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

I have decided to do it, whatever it takes, i have a fat bank account, that should do it.

as I walk on the streets I look at people: some happy, some with babies... babies...
how innocent, how peaceful, their eyes sparkle with love, their tiny helpless limbs wiggle, yearn for protection. i break down in tears and run home.

The time came my mother asked, I replied a weak yes and she cried. my father observed, my response was weaker and I was almost disowned. I took the shame, the blame, I had no comforting words only the movement of the being kept me going and waited longing for the day I could see it.

three years now and I am still enjoying her smile, like to stroke her hair, like to tell her stories and hear her say she loves me. I watch her play and bounce in the sun then i sigh to myself, it was worth it.